You may be my older brother, but you get to take some advice from your little sister for just the next few minutes. You may have 18 months on me in age, but I’ve got 6 years of experience in the marriage realm. So… get ready for me to drop some knowledge!

Ready?

First off – I certainly don’t have all the answers to give you.

Basically, the advice I have for you is equivalent to the advice a 5th grader can give a kindergartener. It’s only small enough advice to help you navigate the hallways of an unknown elementary school and it’s only backed by the knowledge of a few years of lessons and a few years of life. You entering kindergarten is the start of not just 17-ish years of schooling, however, but the start of a lifelong commitment to continual learning, adjusting and trying new things. And the lessons you learn in these first few years will serve you for the rest of your lives together.

Unlike how you welcomed me to high school, however, I will not be stopping the car in front of the boys soccer team blaring Celine Dion.

I will be kind enough to repay the favor for all the times you let me hang out with you and your friends in the hallway or at lunch.

This weekend at the wedding I will not embarrass you in front of your friends (okay, I probably will embarrass you… but not as much as you embarrassed me in high school…)

I will look out for you with advice the same way you did me all those years when you thought you knew best (okay, you USUALLY did know best).

So, here it is – the best advice I have to give you.

What happens this weekend, on your wedding day, is that the two of you are jumping off a cliff together.

You are jumping off a cliff together and you can’t see what’s over the edge and what you’re jumping into. Your job is to trust in each other and to protect each other as best you can from what may come along on your journey.

And this, pencil ready – this is the best piece of advice I can give you – embrace the jump!

For the rest of your lives together, life will happen and very little of that you can control. The good, the bad, and the every day in between.

You jump off the cliff today holding hands, and that right there is the secret.

You keep holding hands.

And, even though there are times you fall at different rates and speeds, you keep holding hands. You never, ever, let go.

As long as you’re holding hands, you serve as each other’s adventure partner, sounding board, voice of reason and soft place to land. Some days you’ll be hers, and some days she’ll be yours.

Be grateful for the cushion.

You will each grow on your journey and you will each change, sometimes at different rates. You will process what life gives you at different rates. You will have beautiful sunsets you each see slightly differently… and some days you will see exactly the same things in the world, as if you were looking through the same pair of glasses.

There’s so little you can control in the world, in your lives. All you can control is committing to be each other’s partner for life, protecting each other and committing to never stop holding hands; never stop being each other’s soft place to land; never stop enjoying the fall – because when you do that, the journey of this jump you’re on doesn’t feel like you’re falling at all – it feels like you’re flying – together.

Today is the day the two of you will remember forever. You’ll tell stories about this day for decades to come. Because today, in addition to it being the start of your journey together, should be remembered as the day that you’re surrounded by everyone in the world you love. Be they physically present or connected spiritually and emotionally from afar, today everyone in the world is here to set you both off on your journey.

And on that journey, while you will have each other close at hand, never forget you are backed by the entire network of people that came together for your wedding to wish you well on your journey together.

So today, and this week, happy wedding to my big brother and my new big sister.

Get ready for a hell of a ride – because there’s nothing in this world greater, deeper, more exhilarating, exhausting, yet more fulfilling than building your life together with your partner-in-crime; as you set off on the adventure of your lives together.

 

Love,

–  Your oldest little sister and her partner in crime –

We’ll always be here to give you shit, give you advice and help you find the answers.

(And just from me, I couldn’t be prouder of the man you’ve grown to be. I can’t wait to see what life has in store for you and your bride over the adventure you’re setting off on together.)

 

……….

And a special post-script for MY partner in crime who inspired this post and inspires me every day… I couldn’t for a better person to hold hands with on our journey together. You’re the reason I wake up every day and try to be better than I was the day before. I can’t wait to see what comes next for us. Happy early anniversary my love – here’s to never letting go ❤