Author Archives: yearsoffirsts
What was your inspiration today?
I remember a very specific speech from my high school band teacher to the whole band. I don’t remember the context of the speech, or even what year of high school it was said, but my mind drifts to the contents of the speech nearly every day.
He spoke about each individual person’s “pilot light”, like the pilot light on a gas furnace, and how you have to keep that light burning inside of you. What I remember about the speech most is the passion with which he spoke about life and what it could be and all the things that were to come. I remember him sharing statistics about how many top executives were in high school band and all the things we could do with our lives. They were nice words then, but they were the kind of words that had lasting impact, beyond almost any other speech I can remember.
It took years before I could appreciate the amount of energy he put into inspiring his students, all his students, even those who weren’t musically gifted. Maybe I still can’t fully appreciate it all, but it does drive me to do better every day and to focus on “keeping my pilot light glowing strong”.
Keeping my pilot light burning has something to do with identifying my specific motivators, but, I think it has even more to do with waking up every single day with passion, creativity and drive to end each day as a better person with the world in slightly better shape.
Some days the goal isn’t accomplished. I end the day perhaps as a slightly lesser person. Some days I may even leave the world in slightly worse shape. That’s the nature of life. You have to keep your light burning despite those days you wish you could do over, the days you wish you could erase from the story.
And then, there are other days. Days that stoke the fire so intensely that appears to unlock new areas of the brain and new ways of solving problems. Days from which you can almost drink the excitement of things to come, problems solved and things accomplished.
Some days that excitement comes from my husband and our furry family, some days that comes from running and some days it comes from solving really difficult problem.
Today, however, like many days, it comes from spending one hour a week in the classroom. I’m in my fifth year and eighth program volunteer
I’m in my fifth year and eighth program volunteering for local not-for-profit Girl Inc, whose mission is dedicated to inspiring girls to be strong, smart and bold. They set two volunteers up with a great deal of support and tools and the volunteers pair up to teach a classroom of young women 1 hour per week for six weeks. Topics range from conflict resolution to media smarts to body image, each targeted at inspiring the girls in the room.
What I find, however, is that I’m the one who walks out of nearly every week newly inspired and with my pilot light burning a bit brighter each time. As the weeks progress we watch confidence grow in attendees and new friendships expand. We talk about really hard issues and try to listen and question and encourage each girl to think. I try to give back that same energy I get from sharing my time with the girls, and then some.
To the girls, perhaps we’re just strangers that pop in each week. Most likely the impact of our words aren’t fully heard or fully understood by the girls. But maybe, just maybe, a few years down the line they can look back and remember some of the lessons from these few hours and the impact of their words will have the same staying power that my band teacher’s pilot light speech had on me, all these years later.
First Hop Across the Pond
Last weekend I started the path down accomplishing a lifelong dream.
We booked our plane tickets to Europe… and there is no emoticon or stock photo that will effectively capture that emotion.
I’ve dreamed about, planned for and wanted to go to Europe, Paris specifically, since I was five years old. When my dad used to come home from work and I was in kindergarten I would greet him, “Bonjour, papa”. I started taking afterschool french lessons in first grade, continued with extra-curricular before-school French classes in middle school, and continued classes through high school and college. As recently as a few years ago I would drive around with “Learn French” CDs playing in the car to brush up on my French so it wouldn’t become rusty.
And last weekend, we made the first steps along this very bucket list item – we booked flights! We’ll be celebrating our five year anniversary with this trip, the only way we could justify the extravagance, and it will be unlike any other vacation we’ve ever taken.
Three countries, two people and another stop on our awesome journey.
Right now the plan is to visit Germany, France and the Netherlands.
What should we see, where should we stay? We’d love your advice as we get more into the weeds with this exciting trip!
How Not to Write a Personal Blog
I love writing.
To me, writing is easy, cathartic even. My brain processes best through my fingers, rather than directly out my mouth, so it’s easiest to organize my thoughts and the information I take in by writing it down and reorganizing it into a simple, straightforward communication.
I write for a living, I write for fun, I write in my head even when I have nothing to write with.
Why is it, then, that this blog gets so little attention?
I don’t have a reliable answer to that question.
Perhaps it’s because personal blogging feels indulgent. It feels indulgent to spend the time on myself when there’s so much else that should be done. It feels indulgent to share stories about observations during the day and things going well, and not well, in everyday life. It feels indulgent to write, even discretely, about daily minutia without the specifics that can’t be shared.
It doesn’t feel indulgent to read those type of blogs, and it doesn’t feel indulgent to share those same stories over the phone to my best friend or in person over dinner to my husband. What’s different about a personal blog?
It could be the finality of print. Even digital “print” has a finality to it, a requirement that thoughts be processed, typos be removed and flow be pristine. When you write for a living, that bar is elevated even higher.
It would be easy to type here and pretend that I will fill this space every week, or even every month, but I know that’s not the case. As my shoulders weight down with differing challenges they may require me to step back and process in a more private way. As I experience good things, it can be even harder to diminish those events to words that don’t feel indulgent, or brag-like. Those posts are often even harder to write.
Is there a newsworthy element to sharing joy between blogger and reader? To where does the line extend between what can be shared and what should be saved?
These are all questions I wrestle with as I try to navigate the best purpose for this blog. It exists, because I do, and because I exist as I do, I have to write.
I believe my writing will benefit from this blog, and maybe even someone else will. So rather than commit to a cadence of posts, I’m committing to keep this page and try to relinquish the restrictions on what constitutes a worthy post. And, in doing so, I appreciate your leeway in judging the worthiness of the words and topics it includes.
The Golden Days and the Shiba Days
Oh what a year 2014 has been! It’s hard to believe it’s already July and the year is more than half over. A quick recap of the year to-date:
- I’ve kept my race-a-month streak up, including another half marathon, and the current streak number stands at more than 33 races in 33 months.
- We went on a few trips, including finally getting to Cubs Spring Training in Mesa, AZ!
- And, last, but certainly not least, we added to our family by 4 paws.
Shandy joined our family the last Monday in April. We’ve learned a lot from her in the 2.5 months since she’s joined our family, and she’s learned a lot as well! I’ll spend a few blog posts over the next weeks detailing some training milestones we’ve hit together, but here’s a few highlights from the past months.
When she came home with us, we knew she was a 3-year-old Golden Mix, but didn’t know what her other main breed characteristics were. We thought she might be part Chow, with her spotted tongue, but she’s so small, at 40 lbs, that we figured she had to have a smaller dog as her primary second breed, since most female Goldens are between 55 and 70 pounds. She has a lot of strong Golden characteristics. She has the “golden feathers” on her hind legs, she’s been the best dog with humans and all kids that she’s met and loves the attention and petting of strangers when we’re out and about. She’s highly trainable and smart as can be. We actually stumbled upon our best guess as to her second breed the first week we had her… when we heard her “shiba cry”.
As she was getting acclimated to the house, and we learned her personality and she learned ours, we were crate training her. She didn’t mind the crate at all, and would often lay and sleep in it even when the door was open. But, she had some separation anxiety issues when she came home, so after more than 5 or 6 hours in the crate at night, she would start making this horrible “cry” noise that was not a bark, but a very distinctive painful sounding cry. It was completely foreign to us the first times we heard it. We would try to let her out, she wouldn’t have to go, we’d check her for injury, took her to the vet, and each time she was fine, she just wanted to be close to her “pack”, us, and ensure she wasn’t alone. The cry, however, was so distinctive in not being a bark or a howl, that we started googling it. As soon as we did, we found out about the Shiba Inu breed and are fairly certain we’ve found her secondary dominant breed. The characteristics were uncanny.
- Shandy can often be caught grooming herself, like a cat.
- Shiba Inus are protective and not submissive. We’ve been working with Shandy on her reactivity and she’s made remarkable progress over the past few months. She’ll never have the Golden temperament with other new, strange dogs, but we are using training tools to grow and socialize to be able to be in a crowded area with other dogs and ignore, rather than react.
- Female Shibas are usually about 17-20 lbs, which puts her right in the middle of standard Shiba and a standard Golden
- Her Shiba-cry is a dead giveaway!
Shandy’s made herself at home by now and we’re happy to announce that the crate was moved to the garage, as she’s now trusted and well-behaved with the run of the house. We get a ton of exercise together, and I call her my little 4-legged treadmill. We’re up to 2-4 miles a day of walking, with the occasional runs. She’s completed her first round of training classes, and starts agility in a few weeks.
Because her first training class became more of a behavior/reactivity class than true training, we’re planning on going back for a second round of basic training in the fall as well. Dog socialization is still the main training focus for me with her, and we try to accommodate 2-4 dog-dates a week. She now has two great friends she can play with well, and hang out with well, off-leash, in-house, and outside. Both are Goldens, one is a 7-year old Golden, and one is a 3-month old Golden. Once she’s familiar with the other dogs she plays well with them and enjoys their company. We’ve even seen her be protective of her pup-friends when other dogs get close to them on walks.
My own running has suffered a bit as we’ve invested in her training, but it’s all for the best. Shandy loves to run with me, and we plan on increasing those miles as I prepare for my fall half marathon. Initially, I was hoping to run my first full marathon this fall, but based on all the changes this year, and the amount of time I’m spending training and acclimating Shandy to the world, that goal is going to be sidelined a bit until next year. I’m excited to take Shandy through 1/2 marathon training with me and think she’ll love the extra mileage as the weather cools off. 
The title of this post is a revelation that we had the other week.
Just like humans, some days are more playful and others are more reserved. Some days are more independent and some days are more social. We call those days “Golden Days” or “Shiba Days” based on her dominant personality.
We love both, but know on the less social/more independent days, that Shandy needs a bit more space and those should be less social walks, with more conditioning and food lures. “Golden Days” we can push her a bit farther to be more dog-social, and we try and take advantage of those days. Neither is set in stone, but we try to watch her cues and adjust and work with her based on her mood that day. In just two months she’s grown so much in her comfort level, personality and training skills. I’m going to start to tell some new stories on the blog, and retell some training stories and experiences we’ve had from our first months. Continue to follow this blog for running tales, healthy life and food tales, but also now the addition of dog tales!
Winter Run 5k – Race Recap
This weekend’s snowy 5k was a lesson in patience and will.
This was my second year running this 5k. It’s also the second year in a row the course was snowy and cold, though this year I thought it was a lot colder and snowier than the last! As a result, or totally unrelated, this year I finished about 3 minutes slower than last year.
I wasn’t really happy with the race itself, but I was very happy to finish. This was a really hard race for me with the two hills on the course that I ended up having to walk up and my toes going numb about a mile in.
Before the race started, the race organizer’s gathered everyone in the gym at Marian University. I tuned out a bit for most of the announcements as I was quickly trying to make a playlist with two last second song adds. Side note… why can’t you add songs via iPhone 5 to an existing playlist? That seems like a no brainer. As the race was about to start and the participants were about to head out to the course (also right before I accidentally deleted my newly created playlist) I heard the “frostbite warning” and how to spot frostbite on your fellow runners.
So, this year wasn’t going to be as fun of a run as last year. I hit the course and instantly regretted not wearing another top layer, but figured I’d warm up as I ran. I did, but I also greatly enjoyed my face mask for about 1/2 the race. Using it as a neck gaiter the other 1/2 for quick access.
Overall, it’s not a bad course, just hard when it’s so snow covered. They had great course coverage with cheering this year, which I don’t recall from last year at all, and that helped. I brought water this year, which I remember wishing for last year, so that helped. But, it was a smaller field this year so I felt myself slipping into panic mode that I’d be the last one across the line somehow and felt myself competing with others, which quickly slowed me down and beat my spirits mid-race.
I fought hard to finish this one strong, though the time doesn’t reflect it with the walked hills. Overall it was a good workout and glad I got my January race in.
And now… I’m ready for slightly warmer weather and paved trails and sidewalks so winter running can go back to being less stressful on my ankles and grip!
Perfectionist Problems
I don’t run to be faster than anyone else.
In fact, I don’t run to compete against anyone other than myself.
That’s part of the reason I usually get my training runs and races in by myself. I can be easily tricked into trying to race against others when I train or race with them. It shifts my thought process into a battle for perfection that I won’t ever win.
I’m a self-aware perfectionist. It was only recently I added I added self-aware to that statement. I hate making mistakes and can beat myself up for hours and days when it happens. When I make a mistake I felt that pit in my stomach and my heart rate rises, predictably, as I work to fix whatever happened or is off. After the fix, it still sticks with me. I beat myself up about it because it was made in the first place.
But, because I’m trying to be more self-aware, this week I tried to dig into that emotion and identify what the underlying concern and cause is. Yes, I want to do things right. I don’t want to make mistakes. But, in the bigger picture… how do I shift that focus from beating myself up to being able to objectively solve the mistake. I want to identify what went wrong and work on developing skills to change that in the future, rather than relive those mistakes over and over.
This week I also found myself talking out loud and saying, “I just can’t do everything.”
Something that should be a simple admission, but it feels like a failure, like a mistake. I believe part of maturing is understanding that I really can’t do every thing. Some days, I just won’t be able to fit a work out in. And that has to be okay. Some days, I won’t be perfect in my diet. And that has to be okay, too. Cleaning the house will have to fall back some days, while work projects have to be reevaluated and repurposed when competing projects butt heads for limited time.
The hard part, and what I’m going to have to learn, is that those choices and leaniencey doesn’t equate with failure, mistakes or loss of anything other than perfection.
Because, in reality, perfection isn’t possible to achieve. It’s possible to strive for, but not realistic to expect as a result. The end result can always be better, I can always work harder and learn more. I’m working to understand the difference between striving for perfection, which encourages high quality, thoughtful, strategic work in everyday life… with the expectation of perfection and anything less than equaling failure and mistakes.
Snow Days Like Any Other
I still enjoy the snow.
-12 degrees right now, snowed in to the house, about 14 inches of snow on the ground and I still love the snow.
Although I do miss the days of youth when a snow day meant an actual snow day of hot chocolate, snowmen and sledding. Now snow days mean shoveling, snow blowing and working from home in comfortable clothes with no reason at all to have to brush my hair. Not quite the same… but I still like the snow.
I appreciate my 4-wheel drive jeep that gets me through any weather, my warm clothes and house and the fact that, to date, the power has stayed on keeping us safe and warm.
It didn’t dawn on me until after my 3rd round snowblowing yesterday that I didn’t even consider playing in the snow this year. Just got down to business clearing the snow and ran back in the house for some coffee and swiss cake rolls (some childhood things never change, obviously).
To make up for the lack of fun yesterday, we enjoyed a nice dinner tonight with a glass of wine and I roasted marshmallows over the fire in the family room. Because, what else would you do on a snowy night when it’s not fit for man nor beast outside?
Pre-Snow/Ice/Cold-pocalypse Run
Slower than normal, colder than normal, quieter than normal.
One of my favorite 5-milers, ever.
Training Begins
Before heading into tonight’s New Year’s Eve activities of drinking and eating to excess, it’s as good a time as any to delve into my training plan, right?
My plan as of today is to try and run two half marathons, one in April and one in May. Depending on how my training goes after those, I may try for my first full marathon in October, or I may downstep to the half for that race.
I started training the week of Christmas and so far, not much to report. I’ve got my plan set, with the understanding that it’s flexible. A few new things I’m planning to incorporate:
– 3-4 runs/week
– 1 run a week dedicated to speed training and 1 run a week dedicated to the long run
– 2 days a week of lifting
– 1 day a week of yoga
I’m hoping the addition strength and flexibility training will help me stay on track and uninjured this season. The best I’ve ever felt was when I was running 3x weekly and doing yoga 2x/week. I hope strength training will only increase that feeling. I also just started basic speed training on an indoor track and I can really feel it working. I hope it will keep getting better as I work through my training.
I’m also going to continue my 1 race per month challenge this year and have the first 5 months planned out already. I’m keeping the summer months flexible regarding which races to sign up for based on assessing where I’m at after the two half marathons I’m focused on now.
Years of Firsts 