I’ve run many 5ks in my life.  Many I ran even before I was a runner by hobby.

I remember participating in Race for the Cures in high school with my softball team each year.  The years I was more fit, the more I loved the race.  It felt good each year, though, despite those being the only time I ever ran without a coach blowing a whistle to start and stop conditioning.

Now, as a runner by choice, I revel in the “good days” when I feel invincible after finishing mileage.  There are still “bad days” when I fight to complete the  mileage and “regular days” when I have to fight through the middle, but enjoy the sweetness of the energy and accomplishment at the end.

Saturday I had hoped to run my first half marathon.  I downgraded to the 5k for a number of reasons and set a goal to finish under a certain time.  I wasn’t thinking much of the morning and was hoping just for a good, regular run.  Nothing stressful, nothing to injure myself, just a solid run.

What I had was a fantastic 5k that was more than I could have hoped for.  I felt strong, had a great run the whole race.  I was so in the zone I didn’t even notice the mileage pass and suddenly I was at the end.  I sprinted out the last stretch and happily finished :30 seconds/mile faster than the last race I completed and :30 seconds total under my goal time.  It was a feeling I hadn’t felt since finishing my first 10k in March and one that I won’t soon forget.

I’ve got one race per month scheduled through next May (excluding January) and I don’t know if I’ll have that same feeling again in any of the next races.  But, felling what I felt when I crossed the finish line with thundering strength this Saturday, THAT is why I keep running and why I can’t imagine giving this up anytime soon.

Photo my husband took after I crossed the finish line.

It’s been quite a long week.

Coming off of the Indianapolis 500 weekend (a sacrosanct 3-days in our house) and heading in to a very busy work week, I only got one run in this week – a 3.1 on Saturday.  I did get my first yoga class in, though, so this will be a duel recap of the two experiences.

I wasn’t really sure what to expect with yoga – it can be intimidating, especially walking in to a class with no experience.  I wanted to push my comfort zone, though, so I signed up for a four-week Intro to Yoga class this month.  A friend signed up as well, which helps both of us stay committed to the program and our first class was this week.

After one class – I’m hooked.  It was the only workout I’ve ever done that I was still thinking about 3 days later.  It really was energizing – but in a different way than high impact cardio.  After a run I feel accomplished and energized.  After this class I felt energized and thoughtful.  I was really impressed with the purposefulness of the movements and I look forward to next week and learning more.  I definitely think this will be an activity I continue.

Saturday’s run was a hot one – the high for the day was set to be around 91 degrees, so I wanted to wake up early and run before it got too hot.  I didn’t wake up early enough, because I didn’t get on the road until 9:30 a.m. and it. was. HOT.

The first 2 miles I pushed the intervals longer than normal but got my butt kicked on the last mile.  By the time I got home I was just wiped out and lost about 2 minutes on my standard pace.

A couple things I learned from this run for the next time.

– Eat breakfast first. I had some juice, but it wasn’t nearly enough.  After a long week with long hours at work, my nutrition hasn’t been the most energy efficient this week and I was definitely lacking energy the second half.  Some peanut butter toast or a banana would have been helpful.

– Drink Water. This was the first run I brought water along on since my longer mileage runs earlier this year and I don’t think I could have handled the heat without it.  This is one of the things that I need to remember as the summer heats up and my training gets more intense.  When my work schedule allows, I need to try and wake up earlier to get some cooler runs in, too.

This next week continues to be busy, but I’ve got another yoga class and hope to get at least 2 runs in (a 4 miler and another 3.1).  I haven’t been able to get the weight training worked in to the schedule yet like I wanted to, but that can come next month.

Fact: I am a runner.

Just a year ago, that statement would be the strangest thing I could ever say.  I might as well say, “I am a duck.” or “I sprout wings and fly around the city two days a week.”

I am a curvy, solid woman.  I was not built to be a runner.  I’ve never been lean, even when I was thin.  I’ve always liked that I build muscle easily and always have strength.

Running after middle school softball practice used to end with me in tears, in pain, after just a few sprints.  I’ve never been fast and I’ve never enjoyed running.  In fact – I went above and beyond to avoid it at all costs.  I’ve always loved sports and working out – just never running.

Nevertheless, today I can state, I am a runner. 

I always assumed you had to be built like a runner to run.  You had to be born with lungs much more able than mine to run.  You had to be anyone but me, to run.

Last fall, fresh off our wedding, I made a decision.  I was going to run the 500 Festival Mini Marathon in 2011.  I’ve lived in Indianapolis nearly my entire life and I’ve grown up with the month of May being sacrosanct. The Mini was just the beginning of what marks the most exciting month in the city.  Never, not once, did I ever have a desire to run the Mini – or run at all – until last fall.

I wanted a challenge.  Running was that challenge.  I wanted to do something I always said I could never do – just to prove to myself that nothing is impossible.  I wanted to prove that I could not only learn to do what I never thought I could – but also learn to love something that I’ve always hated.

So, I started slow.  Okay, technically I started at a dead stop – I started by reading books.  I love research. I love learning in general and I wanted to be fully equipped with knowledge before starting this new journey.  I checked about 10 books out of the library and dove in.  Out of the books, I pulled the most relevant information – what could I use, what was above my head, what didn’t apply and what did.

The stories were all about the same – everyone started slow – run until they couldn’t, then walk.  Soon enough, they were running farther than they ever could have imagined.

Easy enough.

So, step one – get out the door.  I trained alone, and then with a fitness club, successfully until about a two months before the Mini.  Then – it happened.

Injury.

I never anticipated the impact injury would have on my training.  The first time it hit was after I finished my first 10k.  I was so happy, so proud after that 10k – I finished at a 10sec/mile pace faster than I anticipated.  I ran farther than I ever had.  I felt stronger than I ever had.  I beat my mental walls – all my work led up to this, I had learned to love running.

I felt the pain in my foot, google-diagnosed and confirmed through friends. Diagnosis: tendinitis.  Prescription: ice, heat, rest. No running for 1-2 weeks.

So, I took the week off, cross-trained daily, stretched, iced, heated and rested.  I got back on it a week later and went out for a 5-mile run (albeit- a tentative 5-mile run.)  Mission completed, if not a bit slower than average.  But then, just as sure as the time before – the pain started up.  This time, much worse than before.  I did a short run again, the pain grew.  One more run, even more pain and it was determined.  No running again, this time for 2 weeks.  More cross training, more ice, more rest.

When I got back to running it was only 3 weeks away from race day.  The first run out was awful.  I got back in more frustrated, more upset than if I hadn’t gone at all.  The second run – same thing.  I was back at the beginning.  I could barely maintain my pace for a few miles, let alone be where I was or where I needed to be.

So, I had to make a hard decision.  I had to reevaluate my goal.  Did I want to complete my first mini? Yes.  Could I walk the mini and accomplish that? Yes.  Was that the ultimate goal?

No.  Not anymore.

The goal was no longer just to finish – just to complete it once, most likely injure myself again and then stop what I started.  No. The goal is not to finish and stop; not to half-ass it, tape it together just to cross the finish line.  My goal is to learn to love something that I’ve always hated.  To push my limits physically and mentally in a way I hadn’t ever done before.

I reevaluated the plan, signed up for another 13.1 (this time, in November) and developed a training plan that would allow me twice as long to increase mileage and build up to the 13.1.  After that, I’ll run the Mini Marathon next year.  After that – I’ll continue to run and sign up for more races.  It may seem like quitting to some – I didn’t complete the race as planned, but it’s only quitting the easy way out, because the hard way – the long way – meant doing the right thing to build continuous momentum; not just half-assing it.

Because along the way – during the miles – I learned that running was more than just the number of miles ran.  It’s more than the number of calories burnt.  It’s not about losing pounds or looking cool or being fast (*because trust me, I will NEVER be fast. Ever.)

A run now is about the fact I pushed through the pain, about the fact my lungs are strong enough to run in the heat, about the peace and strength I feel after the run.  It’s not about 13.1.  It’s about the journey to get to the finish line – and keep going after that.

My run is worth more than the mileage number that marks it.

Fact: Life as a whole can be overwhelming.

It can be as overwhelming as when you were a small child and learning a new skill – be that spelling, long division or algebra.  At the start of the experience it can seem like an impossible task.  x=y? How can x=y in problem one day and x=z the next?  As you learn the skills, the tricks and start to break it down – slowly, things get easier.

That skill to be able to evaluate an overwhelming situation, to break down the big problems in to small tasks is continually helpful as an adult.  Too many people forget HOW to keep learning every day – forget how to take the big frustrations and break those down into small, manageable tasks.

The skills that you learn in the beginning- the simple arithmetic – those skills don’t stop being useful.  Ever.

Simple arithmetic expands even beyond the ability to break down big problems in to smaller, manageable tasks.  Simple arithmetic can be used to evaluate the world when you take a closer look.  Look deeper; look beyond the cover.  Really look – is the whole picture that you’re seeing more – or less – than the sum of its parts.

Some people can be worth less than the sum of its parts: their education, their pedigree, their bank account – might add up to a lot less than someone who doesn’t have those things.  The person without any of that could be worth so much more than the sum of their parts: their dedication, their trustworthiness, their ability to help or heal.

The same goes for activities and objects – a painting, a run – for different people anything could be more (or less) than it seems from the outside.  It’s easy to get caught up in what looks important from the outside – to get distracted by the shininess of something.  Take the time to really look past the cover and evaluate the situation.

Always do the simple arithmetic – is the whole worth more or less than the sum of its parts?