Saturday I continued my race-a-month streak and eeked out a 5k.

It was slow. It was painful. It was not my finest moment.

I came home just as cranky and frustrated as I was when I was running those few, short miles. Just a few days earlier I’d had a great run, same with a few days before that. With all of the events going on this month, I knew I had to knock out this month’s race early. The only races available were all 45-minutes or more away, so I signed up for the one 45-minutes away and the full drive back my frustration sat.

There’s not much technical advice from this post. But there is resilience.

Because that’s what was clear to me as I was trudging along, my feet clomping through those 3 miles on Saturday. Resilience is a muscle that must be exercised.

Throughout those miles, I knew my time was shit. I knew that every time I tried to run a bit more, my muscles were going to spasm again. I knew this was going to be one of the crap ones on my long list of continuous racing. But… I knew that finishing was more important than all of that.

Because I also knew during those miles what I know sitting here on this couch. There’s a lot more ahead I’m going to have to push through, often while pulling much more. There will be races ahead, and hurdles ahead, just as there has been in the past.

The important thing, in my mind, is assuring that what I’m doing is in service to a greater goal. That 5k this weekend was not about that 45 of time. It was about the bigger goal of getting out there each month no matter what. That’s what builds resilience. Continuing to stand up and show up and work toward the big, hairy, audacious goals ahead.

One of my favorite quotes from Cheryl Strayed’s book, “Brave Enough” is the following:

“We don’t reach the mountaintop from the mountaintop. We start at the bottom and climb up. Blood is involved.”

I’ve climbed mountains. I remember the times when I thought I was going to not be able to make it a step further. When I thought my lungs were giving up. When I wanted to cry and say, “close enough.” But that’s not the mountaintop.

So, as long as you have a clear picture of where you’re climbing, you can keep fighting those single steps each day. With the rain, with the wind, even with the cramps.

In those moments, when you finally get to the top… even the crap races have their purpose along your journey. Because resilience is a muscle you have to exercise all the time.